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WILL LEARN TO BE A PROBLEM CHILD?

Illustration by Marco Antonio Sepúlveda

Learning to be parents is a long road that never ends.
Sometimes it seems an easy and entertaining, and others feel it difficult and we feel the desire to give up.
However, none of this can be done. The work should continue.
Parents are not born knowing educate and, when we form a family, do not receive adequate training in child development and how we teach our children to behave.
So learn to be a problem child? The mismatch is the result of insecurity and anguish experienced so desolate in early childhood.
is imperative that parents and educators know the fundamental principles of learning that are, together with knowledge of child developmental psychology, the theoretical material more appropriate to teach them to behave and to correct unwanted behaviors.
must know, therefore, as cause and maintain desired behaviors as inappropriate and unwanted change.
How can we teach these behaviors? To teach, we must first of all, to adapt to the child's opportunity to specify exactly what we want him to do, and when he turns to reward their behavior. If it is a behavior that the child has not made before, we must first of all, teach them well.
Parents and adults around the child, must constantly be giving support, approval, and above all, meaning a learned behavior.
is important to know that learning is consolidated when, after a particular experience, there is some change in behavior, attitude or knowledge.
The first thing to ask about a child's behavior is: if you know what to do, if you know how, and if you know when.
Most problems come because the child does not have an adequate response to the three questions that are asked and we just be adults, parents and teachers who make things easier for the child's action is channeled and activate properly from the start with a clear as it should do, when and how.
Children learn by imitating the behaviors most models and learn both positive and negative behaviors.
not forget that the responsibility should know show the parent, giving your children love, kindness and training, all based on love, which will be a unique person, singular and unique.
The formation of personality in the aspects mentioned above, has its beginning in the family and finds in it a privileged environment for any other institution.

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THE LOVE IS NOT WHEN LIFE IS

Illustration by Marco Antonio Sepúlveda

The first enabling environment for adaptation or maladjustment of the child is certainly din family and parents are active educators their children's emotional.
Almost all the generations before ours were educated according to the model:
a) mean and severe parents, blind obedience to authority, getting bitter recriminations against any failure.
b) parents polite, but firm. This model is quite opposite before. Parents worry constantly make things easier for their children and keep suffering of every kind. They will get used to all the others must act according to your wishes. Upon reaching adulthood are capable of profoundly altered if they can not buy a house in the place that is trendy.
c) parents with kindness and not firm. This formula is the worst of all, is what ultimately produces the worst results. Parents criticize and yell at the kids constantly tell them they are bad but not taught to correct their behavior.
The natural parents and educators we must prepare our children to achieve our own balance, and transmit through our own attitudes. "Parents balanced act according to the model:
d) parent friendly, but firm.
For that we must try:
1) be comprehensive and reasonable with our children. They are children, not adults.
2) Give them clear standards of conduct, firm and consistent with these guidelines, without becoming rigid attitudes.
3) To help and allow themselves to overcome the difficulties they face according to their abilities.
All this thought the purpose of doing a large increase tyrants children sometimes concealed behind closed doors and in silence.
The "boy emperor syndrome" or "little dictator" are different names given to children and adolescents who abuse their parents.
What leads a child to abuse their parents? What leads a child to feel with so much power and control over them?
If we analyze the models presented earlier in this article clearly we realize that the model c) is the most harmful and has been found gives the worst results: the children in the future antisocial behaviors tend to border on the criminal or .
We must be clear that a child should not feel that is a "centerpiece." Our inability as parents to establish clear boundaries, penalties and restrictions usually comes from fear to frustrate children. Product many times that parents have received the kind of education) that leaving relatively severe psychological consequences as we consider other educational methods falling almost without noticing the sometimes extreme permissiveness, if we unite this hedonistic society that tends to avoid pain or suffering and helps further this vision, we have the perfect breeding ground for the creation of "monster children."
So what is the best education for our children? No doubt that given the democratic homes. The democratic environment characterized by a general permissiveness, closely associated with affect. Parents provide a strong emotional support to avoid arbitrary decisions, talk much with her children in a relaxed atmosphere. These behaviors become habitual generalized to other environments. Children are active, competitive, playful, assertive, among other skills. But democratic procedures are effective only if they match the personality and attitude of parents. If parents are rigid and drivers and we want to use democratic techniques would not be appropriate because other are brewing tensions that undermine the child a.
not afraid to say no to our children, and when we fear it, look at ourselves and ask ourselves what we fear and why we feel guilty?
is important that we clear that is not love.

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Illustration by Marco Antonio Sepúlveda

When Living is Reviving

know that the Third Childhood is the period between 6 and 11 years of age. The little boy of six prepare to enter school, a situation that tests his maturity, both in the physical, psychological and social, facing a new experience that requires new forms of adaptation . On the emotional level, the passage from home to school involves the ability of separation from the mother.

The boy discovers that he must learn that many of their behaviors accepted in the home are now tolerated in school.

On the other hand, must remain for a long time in a limited room in their quest of movement and activity.

Considering all this, the question arises: Are all children over six years old have the maturity to adapt to the school?

Maturity: functional layout means something.

Overall we consider the following basic criteria about maturity School:

a) School age

b) intellectual ability

c) Emotional maturity

d) psychological maturity

e) social maturity

Currently a large number of educational establishments required to pay an entrance exam to be admitted to student. There are children who pass the test but many do not succeed, it is important to note that parents also go through the test. a test that confronts her personal history, and a questioning of their job as parents, raising questions as, What if I have failed my daughter (or) was not? Do not understand why so clever if not pass the test? " I know enough to my daughter (or) their potential?

is important to note that a girl (or) is a being in constant development and having a normal capacity which failed today what you can achieve tomorrow. The inadequacy is common in the early years of life the child at school is not chosen by their parents may feel their self-esteem greatly affected by what the reaction, attitude and understanding they show may be important in future life school. Parents are the first natural and natural educators of their children. Each stage of life they start forcing them to relive their own conscious or unconscious revised their memories, frustrations, goals achieved and not achievements, strengths and weaknesses. Depend on one's own knowledge of herself (or) of psychological maturity, emotional, social and personal satisfaction that they possess as they accept and tolerate frustration.

Children are provided, they come to live their own lives, parents, teachers do not use them to fill gaps and overcome frustrations.

not forget that before the first and natural teachers of their children are the first natural and educators themselves.

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REVIVE THE CONFLICT IN THE COUPLE

Illustration by Marco Antonio Sepúlveda

"the conflict in the couple"

Statistics show that married people live longer and better quality of life ... if no conflicts. But conflicts mental ill (depression, bipolar disorder, drinking, violence ...) and physically (heart, cancer, immune disorders, chronic pain ...) to increase the likelihood of accidents, including deaths. The conflicts in the couple also create problems in children (behavior problems, depression and problems to achieve privacy in the future) STRUCTURE OF THE COUPLE: The current base almost all couples are in love. Falling in love is an emotion and has a strong passion, affection, tenderness, sex. So one of the main objectives of the couple today is make life enjoyable. But emotion is fleeting and subject to the law of habituation. We all know that the infatuation will pass, and many couples, based solely on that emotion is dissolved. However, the passionate love of the beginning is an excellent way to get to keep the couple. This requires developing intimacy and validation. Intimacy means opening up and telling things that otherwise could be used against us and receive acceptance from the other. When we love we put entirely in the hands of our partners and thus build intimacy. But soon the trouble starts. Comes an argument and he thinks: "It is a passionate, while she says. "It's an iceberg. "We believe that because we do not know what conditions the mind and emotions of the other sex. I know of Alba and Eduardo: They lived one of those romances that arouse the envy of friends and strangers. They met at a birthday of a mutual friend, and since then became inseparable. They were united by the same sense of humor, taste in art, and a shared vision of life. They both wanted to spend the rest of life with the person beloved. No soon marry and have a child. But complications began a year. Eduardo was missing sex that had until that Alba got pregnant, while it complained that it was not as considerate as possible. What had happened?. Each of them thought it was the other who had changed. However, what actually happened is that no one had understood the other's emotional language. While the circumstances allowed it seemed understandable, but changed as highlighted differences for which had not been prepared. Because in general we do not prepare to be good as partners or husbands, not to be parents, there a widespread belief that to establish relationships do not need any prior preparation, but we all think that if we want to achieve a better work or increase the salary we have to continue studying. Why to have human relationships do not think it necessary? Perhaps because we all want love we want or we are, we accept the other more or less unconditionally, and greater will be our need to be accepted if we feel that our children did not want us as we needed or thought we deserved. Most dating and when we noticed attitudes or behaviors in the other we do not like thinking that the time shall blot instantly or that our love will change the other. Is it really an issue or a temple that women always want to change men? At the beginning of the relationship everything seems wonderful. If you go to the football on a rainy Sunday, the / / / / is going first. But a few years later ... anyone be surprised that sport "charge." Usually we always expect others to change according to our expectations, but we forget that they are in the same attitude ours. Only if we decided first to take the first step, we will trigger the transformation of consciousness of others. This thought taken from one book by Anthony de Mello, invites us to reflect on the internalization and change. "Change me to change the world.

I

Change to change the world.

"The Sufi Berry says about himself:

a youth I was a revolutionary and my prayer was to say to God: Lord, give me strength to change the world."

As I was making me an adult, I fell in the fact that I had spent half his life without being able to switch to a single soul camencé transformed my prayer and say: "Lord, grant me the grace to transform those who come in contact with me. If only my family and my friends. With that I give satifecho. Now I'm

old and I have days I have begun to realize how stupid I was.

My only prayer is: "Lord, grant me the grace to change myself.

If I had prayed that way since the beginning, there would have wasted my life. "Everyone thinks of changing humanity, almost no one thinks of changing himself."

are many considerations involved in this poem, applying the wish that many times we want our partner to change and do not think first about change leads us to think it's easy to criticize and judge others, unless easy to be judge of ourselves. We are, sometimes very hard with others and with ourselves we tend to be lenient and understanding, the law begins at home, is the watchword. Think of yourself because otherwise our word or advice will be invalid. It valued the attitude of Jesus of Nazareth: "He who is without sin cast the first stone."

Anitza Castelletto Kirby